One More Night
by Lady Kathryne
Summary: She knew one day she could be hurt by the magic coursing through his blood. An imprint was the wolf's gift from the gods. All hell breaks loose when the one wolf who has always loved her finds her defeated body, lifeless on the bathroom floor. WARNING: Character Death!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:  
>All characters and known situations belong to their respective owners. Everything else came from my own mind. In no way shape or form have I made or intended to make a profit from this story…. All rights still belong to Stephenie Meyer…<strong>

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One More Night

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Bella sighed and closed her eyes, stretching in much the same way a cat would as she basked in the rare sunshine that Forks had to offer. She'd just graduated high school the week before. She'd told her dad she was taking a year off of school to work and save up some money to start classes at the community college in Port Angeles. She'd made up her mind. She wanted to stay close to him- to really make up for how bad she'd treated him.

The pack. How she loved them all so. It had taken her a little while to get them all to trust her, but once she'd won them over, they'd become the best group of friends she could have ever asked for. Jacob had seen her through so much. He'd been so happy when she'd actually listened to him and made Alice turn her car around. She'd told him seeing him standing there, looking so betrayed….she couldn't do that to him.

Edward had survived, but he hadn't returned. He'd learned from Alice that Bella had well and truly moved on. That was enough for him. It was all he'd ever wanted for her. Even if it was with dogs… at least she'd be protected.

A chuckle above her had her cracking an eye open, squinting against the sun. She hadn't expected anyone to invade on her solitude for at least another hour. She sighed and smiled when she saw Paul standing over her. He'd become a constant in her life after she'd slapped him silly. The wolf may have taken some time to win over, but the man had been impressed by her nerve.

Over time, he'd admitted to the pack, to Jacob, that he was falling for her quiet charm. He'd been the one to help destroy the red head after her. He'd even demanded that she stay on the reservation during the confrontation. She'd protested, but in the end, Bella was placed under lock and key in his home with Collin and Brady to baby-sit her.

Even Leah had grown to think of her as a friend. One of the only ones she had. She cherished Bella's quiet ways.. Never pushing the older girl to talk, but always there if she needed someone to listen to her. Bella never judged her for her broken heart, and never called her a bitch- either to her face or behind her back. For that, she'd earned Leah's loyalty in spades. In return, Bella confided in her. Only she knew who Bella was falling for. Paul had caught her eye without even trying. None of her other friends had gained that trust.

"Hey. You're early." She grinned at said crush.

Paul shrugged. "I know. I got done with patrol and came over here straight from." He grinned.

Her eyes narrowed. "You just want food."

"You gonna feed me?" He teased.

Bella laughed and started to sit up. "Yeah. I can."

"I was teasing Bella. You don't have to." He said holding his hand out for her to take.

Her grin turned into a squeal when he yanked her into his arms. Her hands flew to his chest in order to brace herself, a small 'oof' leaving her mouth as their bodies collided. His eyes smoldered as he looked into hers, his wolf in agreement for once that they weren't just hungry for food. He'd long ago admitted that he wanted her for his own. He was tired of waiting. He'd make her see how good they could be together.

They made their way into the house, each of them silent, lost in their own thoughts. Bella couldn't wrap her head around the way Paul was acting. It was almost like… but that wasn't it. It couldn't be.

"So… I've got chicken, ham or turkey cold cuts, or I can make some chicken salad, or even some tuna fish sandwiches if you want them." She said before turning around to see him right behind her. She swallowed thickly and stared into his eyes, shuffling backwards until he had her cornered against the wall.

"Bella… I don't want your food…" He purred.

She licked her bottom lip and swallowed again. "you… you don't?"

He scented the air, his eyes slowly bleeding yellow. "Mmm, no… I want something…. Sweeter." He all but whispered seductively against the shell of her ear. He ran his nose along the line of her jaw before nipping at her plump bottom lip.

Bella's eyes nearly rolled into the back of her head. Her very own walking fantasy was about to kiss her. She couldn't help the whimper that left her lips when he moved his away, down the other side of her jaw. He placed butterfly kisses against the skin of her neck, pausing to inhale deeply when he got to her collar bone.

"You smell SO addictive. So fucking sweet. So sinfully delicious." He whispered as he pressed her against the wall with his hips while his hands began to roam over her body. The v-neck tee shirt she wore caught his eye finally, before he won the battle with his wolf and moved to rub over her nipples through her shirt instead of just tearing it from her body.

"Paul…" She whined. The things he was doing to her body should be illegal. "Paul… wait… please?" She hated herself for doing it. She wanted it to mean something.

He sighed, his wolf quelled somewhat. She sounded so vulnerable. "Sorry, I probably overstepped the boundaries ten fold huh." He tried to play it off.

"Paul… I like you… probably way more than I should." She smiled when his head shot up to look her in the eye.

"Why do I sense a 'but' coming?" He wondered.

She sighed. "I just… I don't want to be another notch in your bed post, Paul. I want it to mean something! I don't want to be used again.." She muttered, her arms starting to wrap around herself.

"Oh hell… Bella. I'm sorry." Yeah… that caught her attention. '_Good. Maybe she'll listen to you_.'

"What are you sorry for?" She wondered.

He tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear. "Because I didn't want to run you off. Jake told me you didn't want another guy… I thought I could keep it to myself. But damn, Bella… you're different, ok? You… you don't see me as a man whore, or a monster. You know me. It means a lot."

He really wasn't making any sense. He was shocked though, when he felt her lips against his. A shy press of mouth to mouth. A quiet acceptance of his admission.

"I believe you." She whispered.

It was his turn to lick his lips, the tip of his tongue flicking against hers in the process. She was close enough for him to kiss her if he wanted to. To properly kiss her. His eyes searched hers, looking for any sign of hesitation.

"I really want to kiss you right now…"

A shiver raced down her spine. "What's stopping you?"

It was all the permission he needed. His hands moved to gently cradle her head in his large palms while his lips laid claim to hers. He groaned when he was granted access to her mouth, tasting her unique flavor. He echoed his groan and pulled him closer to her, leaving barely an inch of space between them.

"Paul!" She gasped tearing her lips from his when air became vital to her consciousness.

His lips trailed down her neck, nibbling and sucking gently at her flesh. He shoved his hips against hers, letting her feel exactly what she was doing to him, causing them to groan at the same time with need.

"Please… Bella. You smell so fucking good." He moaned in her ear.

She made a split second choice before gently pushing him away enough to take his hand in hers. Confusion was written in his eyes until she started walking towards the stairs. He grinned at her and pulled her back towards him, chuckling when she squealed and fell into his waiting arms. He carried her, cradled to his chest up to her room, closing the door with a gentle tap of his foot.

"You need to tell me now if you don't want this Bella. I can be your friend. If that's what you want, I'll abide by your wishes." He promised.

She smiled. "We'll give it a try. I'll let go when the time comes. I promise."

They never heard the whine from the ash brown wolf below her window. She was his, and she was giving herself to another! He'd bide his time and wait. He'd have to. It was inevitable that Paul would be forced from her. He knew it, the pack knew it, though they hoped it wouldn't happen. He'd be there to help his woman when it finally did.

He sighed and though of the math homework awaiting him as soon as he finished his patrol. It was enough to drown out the sounds of pleasure coming from Bella's lips, or the groans of satisfaction falling from his pack mates mouth. He'd have to wait. It would be soon, his wolf had told him so.


	2. Chapter 2

_ *One Year Later*_

Paul sighed and closed his eyes to try and drown out the tears he knew he would see in her eyes. He knocked on the door and waited. It wouldn't take long. He'd loved her with almost everything in him. And then he'd seen her. Alexia Whitetail.

His imprint.

She'd bumped into him at the beach- on purpose, he later learned- and from there he was hooked. It'd been two weeks already and the pain had been brewing right behind his heart for the girl he'd loved. He smiled when he saw her, and even the wolf perked up some, but not enough to allow him to return to her. He'd found his love. Somehow the wolf knew she wasn't for him.

Bella smiled when the door opened.

"Hey, you're early." She mused.

Just like the first time they'd begun their song and dance.

"I came straight here from patrol." He shrugged.

She eyed him warily. "Is everything ok?"

"I… no… it's not. I have to tell you something, but I don't know how…" He admitted..

Bella knew, right then and there what was going to come out of his mouth. She sat down slowly on the porch swing and watched him. She didn't try to touch him, didn't try to move closer. Deep down, she knew this was the last time he'd be hers.

"I tried to fight. I swear I did." He finally told her.

She shook her head. "No… please don't fight it. She's yours."

He shook his head. "But, I don't want her, Bella. I want you."

"Paul… I knew what I was getting into. We can still be friends. You know that. We just can't be together anymore. I'm not the one for you."

She was in his arms before she could say another word with his head buried in the crook of her neck. "Why couldn't they have given me you?"

"Shh. It'll be alright." She murmured. She was a little surprised to feel the wet drops of his tears hitting her skin. He was really torn about it.

One last shuddering breath left his lips before he backed away with a sad smile. "Do you want me to leave?"

"You don't have to. I've got some coffee left. Come tell me about your girl?" She asked. She only prayed he couldn't see the way her heart was shattering inside.

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"Come on Bella. It's been a little over four months. I mean, you're still friends with him right?" Angela asked.

They were sitting in her living room on a Saturday afternoon. Bella had just gotten back from work and was in the process of rubbing her aching feet. She huffed and looked at her friend. She was grateful she still had the girl in her life. She didn't know how she'd stay sane if she was completely on her own.

"I'm doing ok! And yes, Paul and I are still friends. We parted on good terms. I just don't really want to see him around his new girlfriend right now." She admitted.

"Well… why did you even break up? You guys were really good together…"

Bella tried and failed to hide the pained grimace from her friend. "We just wanted different things I guess. We both agreed we were better of as friends before it got too bad." She shrugged.

Angela sighed. "I just don't understand you sometimes. You're about as crazy as they come, but I love you all the more for it."

A knock on her door interrupted what was going to be said. She shared a puzzled look with Angela before hopping up to answer it. A grin formed on her lips when she saw Seth, Brady and Collin on the other side of the screen door.

"Hey guys. What's goin' on?" She asked pushing the screen door open for them to come in.

Seth shrugged. "We just wanted to see you. It's been a little while."

"You're hiding." Collin teased.

Bella rolled her eyes. "No, it's called work, munchkin."

"Avoidance has a lot of names chickadee." Brady retorted. He smirked when Collin huffed. He was the shortest of the pack and Bella often reminded him of it, even if they all towered over her.

Bella shook her head. "Go sit down. Angela, these are three of the jerks I call friends. That's Seth, Brady and Collin." She said pointing to each respectively.

"Hi. It's nice to meet you." She said smiling politely.

Collin grinned. "So, Angela… maybe you can help us with something."

"NO!" Bella was quick to growl out.

Angela arched an eyebrow. "Ok…."

"See…. Our friend Sam hosts this Christmas party every year…. And since it's been so hard to get a hold of Bella to ask her… maybe you could help us convince her to start hanging around her friends again…." Collin grinned.

Bella shook her head. "I told you… no." She sighed. "Paul and I agreed not to hang around each other too much. Alexia and I don't really get along."

"Fuck her!" Seth growled.

Bella eyed him warily. "Calm down, Seth. It's ok. I get why she doesn't like me. I'm the ex.. Remember?"

"You were our friend first. You should be there! You're still a part of our group." Brady said quietly.

Angela arched an eyebrow. That was one hell of an argument. She watched Bella biting her lip in debate. She knew what the girl was going to do. "I'll make sure she's there. I can drop her off myself if I have to."

"Hey!" Bella huffed. "Who's side are you on here?" She teased.

Collin grinned. "You should come too Angela. You'd be bringing her along. I'll let Sam know about it."

"Sure.. Ok. When and what time?"

Brady smiled. He turned to see Bella disappear into the kitchen and sighed. He followed her and stopped short of the kitchen door way, leaning on the frame. Bella hadn't noticed him yet… he thanked his wolf's ability to be completely silent for it too. The poor girl was staring out into the back yard as if it held all the answers to her problems.

"Bella…"

She smiled. "I knew he'd leave. I just guessed I'd have more time."

Brady sighed. "I'm sorry it hurts."

She shrugged. "It is what it is, I guess." She said trying to play it off.

Brady only shook his head. "You know I can see right through you. We all can little B." He whispered, using the nick name he'd coined for her.

"Maybe, but it's getting easier."

He shook his head. "I'll give you a minute. We wanna hang out for a little while if that's cool."

"Of course. You're always welcome."

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Bella sighed and walked arm in arm up the front porch steps of Sam and Emily's log cabin style home. It was large enough that the pack could fit inside easily without bumping elbows, and there was still more space left for other 'regular humans' as well. Angela watched her with a worried frown as the waited for the door to open.

"You ok Bella?"

"I'll be fine. We're still friends right?" She asked smoothing out her black knee length dress.

Angela smiled weakly. "If you want to leave, we can. They're not here-" The door opening cut her off.

"Bella? Hey stranger!" Jared crowed pulling her into a hug. "Guys! Bella's here!"

Angela raised an eyebrow hearing the commotion it caused. She didn't know Bella was so missed among her friends. She smiled when Jared turned to her. She nodded when he asked if her name was Angela, then politely thanked him when he begged her inside out of the cold. She froze when her eyes met those of a boy she knew only through Bella.

"Hi… I'm Jake."

Behind them, Bella's breath hitched. Jacob had found his forever. And hers was disappearing even more quickly. She hid her tears, smiled and pretended she wasn't phased by it. It was just another reminder slapped in her face to say she wasn't good enough to really be a part of the pack.

She waited for another thirty minutes then slipped out the door. It was a hard thing to do, slipping away from wolves, but on a night when there was so much chaos, she found it was easier to do than she'd thought. There was only one wolf who knew she'd gone, and he followed her to the beach, keeping a silent vigil over her. When she got too cold, he took her in his arms, wrapped her in his own heat, and let her cry.

She didn't mean for Brady to see it. But she was falling apart slowly inside, and at the moment, she didn't care if he knew.


	3. Chapter 3

The feelings of loneliness and helplessness entombed her in growing misery as the silence pressed into the bathroom, forcing the anger aside after a slight battle; the loneliness **always** won. She was only 19, but she felt the weight of a thousand years of dark, painful secrets on her shoulders.

A sharp sudden pain brought her from her thoughts as she soaked in her bath. She had nicked the skin on her leg with her razor while shaving. She should have felt nausea creeping over her at the sight of the blood dripping into the water, but, for once, it fascinated her. The way it swirled and floated through the clear liquid almost dancing with it, tainting it with the color of her torment, pain and suffering she felt inside entranced and beckoned to her.

In that single moment, Bella Swan had an epiphany. Physical pain inflicted and- better to the point- controlled by her own hand, took every other ounce of pain she felt away. She was- for the first time in a long time- blissfully numb. She debated for a split second and then pulled her razor apart and held the metal blade in her fingers. It was surprisingly easy to figure out how to do. The metal reflected the light of the bathroom, glaring enticingly at her. It was almost calling her name after a few minutes of intense stares, daring her to do what her thoughts were urging her to try.

It was as if she were having an out of body experience, as she watched her hand move to her skin at the crook of her elbow and cut a small shallow line that ran the width of her arm. It was deep enough to bleed, shallow enough to not cause the need of an ambulance. Twice more the blade she had taken from her razor was dragged across her arm. Twice more she sighed in beautiful release. The pain was gone and her body was lax as the tension she felt was unburdened from her shoulders.

Bella exhaled blissfully, a sense of peace encasing her body in its firm, sensual, oh so seductive hold. Even her tears had stopped- something that normally took her hours on her own as she battled the demons of doubt and self hatred. She watched as the blood beaded and pooled together before running down her arm to mingle with the now lukewarm water she sat in. With a new found weapon of pain management added to her arsenal, she only smiled.

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Bella sighed and headed up her steps. She'd moved out of her dad's house three months ago, trying to distance herself from the questions she could see in everyone's eyes. If she kept her head down, did what she was supposed to at work, kept her grades up in her studies, and didn't think about the oppressive agony constantly hounding her mind, she'd survive for a little longer. Port Angeles had offered her some escape. She'd not counted on her dad telling Jacob where she was though. He'd caught her as she was getting out of her new car. Then he'd followed her inside.. Along with Quil and Embry.

She started the water and sighed while she waited for it to get warm. She peeled off her long sleeved shirt and looked at the cuts across the length of her arm. She had been itching to feel a sense of peace again ever since she had heard her dad on the phone that morning asking her again if everything was ok. She felt so incredibly guilty for dragging him into her mess. She didn't want him to make a fuss over her. She wasn't worth it to be fussed over. She really was nothing special anymore- at least that's how she saw it when she looked in the mirror now.

A knock on the door made her jump. "Y-yeah?"

"Hey Bells, you decent? I have your bag." Jacob said through the door.

She almost groaned. How could she have forgotten her laundry bag?

"Yeah Jake. I'm still dressed." She said opening the door forgetting about her bare arms for a moment. It didn't take him long to see them.

Jacob gasped. "Bella! What the fuck is that?! What happened to you?!"

Bella inwardly groaned. "Shh!" She pulled him inside and poked her head into the hallway. Assured that no one was coming, she closed the door and turned to her best friend. She had been caught in the act so to speak and had to face the music- or at least do some damage control.

"What… I mean… Bells. A-are… did… Jesus…who DID that to you?!" He finally asked. There was no way she would do something that grotesque. Not his best friend.

Bella sighed and slid down the bathroom door. "I did." She said quietly.

Jacob was shocked. "Bells. You…why would you hurt yourself like that?!" He asked sitting beside her still too shocked to do much else.

"Jake.. I feel…" She waved her hands helplessly in front of her.

Jacob sat beside her. "You feel what Bells?" He asked taking one of her small hands in his.

"Nothing. I don't feel scared or sad. I just… I feel like I did before things changed… peaceful almost." She finally sighed.

"Damn Bella! I can't believe you would do that! What if you cut too deep?! What would you… we can't… I… the pack… Bells… you're our family." Jacob sighed.

"Jake… I found out I can control my pain. Please don't tell anyone! Please! They'll make me stop and it'll hurt again." She whined.

Jacob closed his eyes. "I won't say anything Bella. But please, just… try to stop. I don't want to see you hurting yourself like this. There has to be another way. Please… you mean too much to all of us. Ok? Will you try?" He begged her.

She smiled. "Ok Jake. I'll try to stop." His words hit something inside of her. Maybe she wasn't so alone after all. '_He's lying. They're happy you're gone. Paul didn't fight for you… nothing more than a leeches leftovers. Die… they won't care._' Her jaw quivered. She tried to push past the words, but she was drowning with them.

He sighed. He kissed the side of her head, helped her stand and then left to go find his friends. Somehow, he knew things would only get worse before they ever got better. Seeing her arms marked up the way they were was- he felt- only the beginning of the hell they would all find out she really endured.

"Is she ok?" Embry's voice broke through Jacob's troubled thoughts and caused him to jump ever so slightly.

Jacob sighed. "I just don't know. Not anymore."

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Brady sighed and stared out over the rolling waves of the angry ocean while his feet dangled on the cliff ledge. He'd escaped the pack yet again, much to Sam's displeasure. There was just too much on his mind these days. All of them revolved around Bella. Was she ok? Was she eating? Was she safe? Was she getting better? Was she ever going to be happy again? Did she miss any of the pack?

He was so lost in his thoughts he never heard his two best friends sit down beside him. On their own, they were relatively tame. Together, the three could rival Jacob, Quil and Embry. Brady nearly jumped off the cliff side when they leaned against him. It was meant to offer comfort, instead it merely startled the young wolf causing him to growl for a split second.

"Easy… cool it Brady. It's just us." Seth cajoled.

Brady sighed. "Sorry… was lost in my thoughts."

"About Bella?" Collin wondered.

His head whipped around. "How'd you fools know?"

"You let it slip on patrol a couple times. You're too vested in her. We put two and two together. Don't worry, though. None of the others know. They're all worried about their own imprints."

"You knew that too?"

Seth smiled sadly. "I had a sneaking suspicion. I only really guessed when I saw you started to get bad off. You were better after you saw her again."

Brady sighed. "She's my life. I'm so damn worried about her."

"Then tell her!" Collin sighed.

Seth frowned. "You really should."

"Guys… she put a lot of space between everyone. Even if I tell her.. What would it do? Sure it'd save her a little bit of grief… but her heart is broken. Paul can't even be her friend because his bitch of an imprint is jealous. I'd rather be a friend until she can heal than force it on her when she's not ready." Brady huffed.

Collin sighed and shook his head. "For a 17 year old, you're pretty damn smart.."

"Thanks Collin."

Seth huffed. "So can we stop having a chick moment and just go see Bella?" He wondered.

They grinned. Brady was always ready to see Bella. She was his life. He'd be lost without her. "First one there gets her cooking first!" He crowed.

They phased quickly and were off towards her house. Their decision to visit had kept her afloat for one more day. One more time that Brady got to see her. One more time he got to fuss over how skinny she was. One more time she got to tell him how sweet he was.

Another time for her to thank him for always being there whenever she needed a friend. He promised her he would stay that way too. His wolf agreed whole heartedly.


	4. Chapter 4

Bella groaned when she heard a knock on her front door. They were there again. The pack- more specifically, Jacob, Quil and Embry. She'd tried to break away and give them some distance, but they wouldn't let her. She'd tried so hard to leave. To run. Each time, they brought her back to them. She hollered for them to come in from the bathroom and smiled when she heard their boisterous banter. She was dying inside, drowning in the sorrow of heartache, but she'd never show them. They were happy in their ignorance.

"Come on, Bells. Sam just sent me a text. You ready to go?"

"Give me a second." She called back.

Embry rolled his eyes good naturedly. "We'll meet you there. Something tells me you need to talk to her." He said patting Jacob's shoulder before attempting to drag Quil out the door behind him.

"She's not happy. You made her happy before right? Maybe we can all help this time. She's just gotta open up to one of us first." Quil mused halting Embry's attempts. It was rare for him to be serious like he was now.

Jacob shook his head. "Yeah, that's the hard part though. It took six months last time."

Embry shrugged. "We'll help this time. Just talk to her."

Jacob sighed and headed down the hallway. He heard Bella in the bathroom, her quiet hisses of pain a dead give away to her location. "Hey Bells, you o- …..k?" He was completely unprepared to see the long, deep, jagged gash that raced angrily across her arm as she stood in front of the bathroom mirror in her flared jeans and a tank top after he'd opened the door.

"Jake! Crap… um… t-this isn't… I-it's not-"

"Not what Bella? Not what I think it is? There's not a gash across your arm that looks like someone tried to harvest your blood?" His voice was quiet as he stared at her arm. It was riddled with scars that she tried to hide. "You said you'd try to stop…"

Bella gulped. She didn't want anyone to see her like this. She only meant to change the tape and gauze, but had pulled the scabbing off in the process. "Please Jake… you… y-you can't say ANYTHING!" She begged him.

"Bella… Did you do this one to yourself too?" Jacob was horrified as he stared at the angry gash marring her lightly tanned skin.

"No…It was an accident Jake. I slipped at work, got my arm cut up. I was just being my usual clumsy self." She said quietly. Lying to her best friend was really hard, and she didn't want to see the pained look in his eyes right now. Bella turned her head away so he wouldn't see her eyes.

"Bells…" Somehow, Jacob knew she was lying. He only sighed. "Let me help. It'll get infected if you're not really careful. This looks kind of bad… you sure you're ok?" He said washing his hands before helping her to clean her arm again.

Bella didn't move or make a sound as he used iodine wipes to carefully clean her wound. She kept her eyes looking over his shoulder at a spot on the wall, trying not to think of the gruesome sight her arm must be to his eyes and welcomed the burn of the medicine. She knew he didn't believe her, but she wasn't about to tell him the truth. "Thanks Jake. I'm ok. Promise." She whispered when he was done.

She winced and grabbed her hoodie- the one she kept of Paul's. The only thing of his she'd not given back. His scent was completely gone from it now, but the memories were still there. Due to her not eating much, it fit rather loosely causing Jacob to frown. She sighed and placed her hand on Jacobs arm. "Please, Jake… between us right?" She begged.

"It's between us Bells. I promise. I don't like it… but I won't say anything." He reluctantly agreed. He didn't want to pressure her anymore than he already had. Deep down, he was extremely worried for his best friend.

They drove to the beach in silence, only stopping to send one text to Embry and Quil. They met them as soon as they parked and grinned before hugging Bella to them. They frowned too, when they felt how skinny she was, even going so far as to joke that it would take one strong ocean breeze to bowl her over. She shrugged it off, adding it up to stress and changed the subject.

It didn't take them long before they were greeting the pack. Each of them was thrilled to see her, and let Bella know that she didn't have to hide from them. Sam pulled Jacob back a little from the group. "What's wrong with Bella? She's…" He didn't know how to finish his sentence.

"Quiet? Withdrawn? Not herself? Yeah… I know. She won't tell me though." Jacob sighed.

"I think I do. Bella believes she's inferior to us … like she doesn't fit in anymore.." Jared said having overheard the conversation.

"How'd you find that out?" Jake was shocked to find out Bella felt that way.

"Leah. They had a little heart to heart last weekend when Bella went to her dad's house in tears. Charlie called Harry because she wouldn't tell him what was wrong. I guess he figured Leah could get through to her or something."

"Man… doesn't Bella know how amazing she is? Sure, she's a little on the shy side, but she's smart and funny, and loyal and honest and once she opens up, she's playful and she can be sneaky as hell." Jacob sighed. "She'll always be a part of the pack." He smiled when he saw the girls flocking to her.

"Too bad she doesn't think she belongs here. She's part of the pack. We all miss her." Jared sighed watching the girls together. "Kim was in tears the other day because she was afraid Bella didn't like us anymore."

Jacob cleared his throat after a few minutes. "I'm gonna go throw the ball. I need to do something to get rid of the tension. You wanna come?"

"In a few. I'm gonna talk to her. Maybe I can get her to open up a little bit." He said with a sigh.

"Good luck." Jacob and Jared said before jogging off to throw the football with their friends.

Sam sighed and moved to sit next to Bella once she'd begged off from the girls. He watched her watching while the pack took turns tackling one another. When he'd had enough of the silence, he nudged her shoulder playfully with his. He had never liked her ignoring him. He'd always felt like the protective older brother who wanted to know what secrets she was hiding. It never worked, but it always got her to smile and at least talk to him. Now was no different.

"Hey Sammy." She grinned resting her head on his shoulder. Emily only smiled at the sight. Hopefully Sam could help her. He'd always seemed to get through to her before.

"Hey you ok?" He asked her.

Bella nodded. "I'll be fine." She told him. That was all he needed to know. She didn't need to burden him with any of her issues. It wasn't her place anymore.

Sam sighed. "I don't like you keeping things from me. None of us do. I hope you know that you can come talk to me about anything, no matter what it is. I promise to be here for you." He told her sincerely.

She smiled and gently hugged him to her. "I know. Maybe one day, but… just not today." She told him.

"I can live with that. But I'm also holding you to that promise Bella." He told her sternly. He shook his head and noticed their friends all coming over to sit by them as well. "You guys done?" He asked.

Embry tossed him the ball. "Yeah. Sun is starting to set. We're gonna leave soon. Hey Bella, you ok?" He asked finally having seen her leaning heavily on Sam's side.

"Yeah, just kind of tired." She said sheepishly.

"Well that's what you get for not eating enough. Geez girl, you're skin and bones almost." Leah exclaimed having heard what was said.

Sam and Jacob were the only two who noticed her flinch, and the tears that started to well in her eyes. It was bad when even the she wolf started to notice small things. They shared a look of identical worry, both of them shaking their heads. She wasn't ok.

"I'm alright. Just work and on line classes too. It's just stress." She very nearly succeeded in believing the lie as she sat quietly with her friends.

Sometimes she just wanted to break down and tell her friends the secrets she guarded so carefully… then she remembered that she would really lose them if she ever did tell them that she wanted to die without Paul. She chose to suffer in silence and not say a word if it meant holding onto their friendship for a while longer.

"What's wrong Bella?" Emily asked, finally seeing the tears welling in her eyes.

"Huh? Sorry… I was… I was just thinking." '_Liar_!' A little voice hissed in her head. '_Nothing but a lying nobody… they'll never like you. You're not one of them. You're not pack_.' It's words a poison settling in her mind.

Leah frowned and looked briefly at the rest of the pack. "What about? You're really quiet tonight."

Bella winced and wrapped her arms around her stomach- a tale tell sign of her anxiety. "Just… um… s-school. Work too.. Oh…" She gasped and stood quickly causing the pack to look to where she was.

Paul and his imprint were walking their way. They hadn't seen her yet, but even from where they all sat, they could hear the laughter between the two. Bella sighed. "I'll… it's late.. I'm gonna go… I can't be here right now…"

"Bella! Wait… you don't have to leave!" Embry yelled as she ran off. He sighed and sat down, Quil and Jacob patting one of his shoulders from either side of him.

Paul's grin faded when he caught the smell of her perfume. "She was here?" He asked Sam.

"She was. She just left."

Jared arched an eyebrow. "Took off like a bat out of hell, actually."

"Maybe one of us should go after her… she could get hurt.." Paul hinted, taking a step after her.

"Oh let her go, Paul. She obviously doesn't want to be here."

Rachel narrowed her eyes at the girl as she took her spot in Embry's lap. It was only Embry's arms around her waist that kept her in place. It had come as a shock to everyone when the quiet wolf had imprinted on her, but it was a welcomed occurrence. They completely suited one another. Those had been Bella's words.

Paul sighed. He stared at the spot she'd fled from, wondering not for the first time just how well she was actually coping. His imprint had learned that if it was asked of a wolf, they had to comply. She'd asked- without really asking- for him to stay away from Bella. The man in him was drowning. He never wanted to hurt her. Not after what the leech had done. She gotten past all that… she'd picked herself up- with his help- and fallen in love again. And just one look into a strangers eyes had ruined it.

_ "Forgive me Bella. Please. I didn't want to hurt you!"_


	5. Chapter 5

A tear rolled down her sallow cheek as she read the invitation again. Paul was getting married. The love of her life was giving his last name to someone else. Someone who wasn't her. She couldn't believe it. She'd tried hard to honor her promise to let him go. She just couldn't do it. First Edward had told her she wasn't good enough for his world, then the Quileute gods decided she wasn't good enough for Paul's world. The words in her head she'd shoved away at one time begun whispering louder.

_ "It's not __**that**__ hard to believe. You're nothing. The wolf knew that from the start. You're not worth the time it took to heal you up. They should have left you to die like the pathetic carcass you are. They don't really care."_

She closed her eyes, trying to hide the voice in her head. Her fear, her doubt, her self hatred… she'd fought it for so long. She was so tired of fighting. Her will to survive without him was finally gone. The demons in her mind had won. The scars that riddled her arms were too many to count. Even though she'd told Jake she'd try and stop, she'd kept going. Some of them were deep, but none had killed her yet.

This time would be different.

She sat down at her table, taking in each place. Each chair held the impression of a different person- or two in the cases of Emily, Rachel, Claire and Angela. They'd been her friends at one time. But she'd shoved them away. They didn't need to see her wasting away. She'd hit it so well. It was only in the last few weeks that she'd started letting herself go.

She laid her letters out at the table. The names corresponding with the places her friends had claimed as theirs. They'd find them eventually. It never took the wolves long to know when something just wasn't right. A soft smile chased over her lips as she thought of them. They'd be playing a game on the beach, or watching TV at Sam's, or patrolling. They had their own lives. And she'd perfected the art of hiding.

Hiding her fear. Hiding her pain. Hiding her misery.

Her one constant friend was the blade she kept in the bathroom sink drawer. She turned it in her fingers, testing its sharpness. The small cut on her finger didn't even register. She closed her eyes briefly in joy of the calm it brought. It was gone too soon, as she opened her eyes and stared at the mirror.

Her reflection was one she didn't know. The person before her… it was someone else. She wanted it to end. She NEEDED it to end. Her lips parted as the blade raced over her skin. It cut too deep, but the feel if it was exquisite. A palpable wave of euphoria danced over her body, washing away the pain and heartache she'd felt. The blood was pooling too fast as it rushed from her severed vein. She should try to stop it.. The reasonable part of her brain insisted she try.

But…

No. She'd found it. No more pain. No more sorrow. No more misery. She felt… nothing.

Her heart was slowing, beating sluggishly in her chest. Her breaths were shallow, trying to hide in her lungs and keep her body alive. It was too late. With one last shuddering breath, Paul's name left her lips. Her eyes began to cloud over, sightless and cold. Her fingers clenched around the note she'd written him. The one telling him goodbye for a final time.

It was close to three in the afternoon before Brady had had enough. He hadn't seen Bella in a little over three weeks. He was the only one she talked to anymore. He was the only one who had found a way past her stone walls. The pack never stopped trying to breathe life back into her. But without her wolf, she seemed to be nothing. She'd forbade Paul from even coming near her anymore. She could pretend all she wanted, but it had ripped her heart from her chest that day. She hadn't gotten over him.

(~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~)

"Hey, Brady, you ok man?"

"Something's wrong. I just… I feel it. Something isn't right with Bella."

Jared frowned. "Brady… she's… I think… I think she's gonna be ok. They only just got engaged… it was just more of a shock to her because she hasn't been around."

"You mean since Alexia put her foot down and told Paul that maybe she shouldn't? I agree with Brady." Emily huffed, making an appearance to set a plate of food down in front of each of them. They'd just gotten off of patrol and had stopped by to see Sam.

Sam sighed. "I don't like it either, but Emily… you know Bella. She'll do it to keep the peace. No matter how much it hurts her in the process, she'll do it."

Brady shook his head. He stood abruptly and stormed out of the room. Jared and Sam were left speechless. He was normally docile, choosing to take after his more gentle cousin. "What was that about?" Jared finally asked.

Emily shook her head. "He's been in love with her since day one. You all just never saw it."

Sam's eyes went wide. "How did you know?"

"Sam… you hang around wolves all day, you learn to read body language, not just listen to the words they speak." Emily said gently.

Jared and Sam shared a look and then raced off after him. They knew where he was going. They'd go with him, to help him. Like they should have done all along. Nothing but shame filled them as they phased, trying to catch up with the quiet, but wise wolf.

_ "It's fine guys. Emily is the only one who knew. I figured out she figured it out months ago."_

_ "Brady… I… I'm sorry. I feel terrible. I'm your alpha… I should have seen it."_

_ "Sam, just shut up. No one knew. It was my burden to carry."_

They made quick work of the ground beneath their paws, the three of them flying to the side of their friend. "Something is wrong." Brady said when they stood outside of her apartment door.

The hairs on the back of their necks stood on end as they knocked on her door. "Bella? Bella, come on… open the door… please? I miss you." Brady sighed.

"Brady, watch out." Jared said producing a credit card from his wallet. "Thank you baby girl." He muttered.

Kim had gotten smart and sewn zippers and cargo pockets into the jeans of all the packs' shorts. They were at least able to carry essentials on them now. Brady watched as Jared jimmied the lock. He snorted and rolled his eyes when Jared smirked.

"He's good for something." Sam mused.

"If you say so. He's your friend." Brady didn't like talking about Paul these days. He knew it wasn't his fault. But to talk about Paul was to talk about Alexia. And he DID blame her.

Jared sighed. "He's yours too… ugh… what is that…is that blood?"

Brady fought back the bile as they were hit with the acrid stench of copper. They followed their noses to the closed bathroom door. "Bella? You ok?"

"The hell? Bella? You alright? It's Jay… come on sweetie… talk to me."

"Guys…" Sam's choked whisper met their ears. They walked into the kitchen to find the envelopes sitting at her table. One in each of 'their' spots.

"No…."

"Brady…"

"NO!" Brady roared before racing down the hallway. "Bella! Come on. Bella….please…. Just… I know you're hurting… I know that.. We all do.. But… please…" His breath hitched. "Bella, Dammit! If you don't open the damn door RIGHT FUCKING NOW I'm going to break it the hell down!"

Jared's eyes welled with tears. He'd read his letter, the same as Sam. They both knew what Brady was going to find. "I'll call Kim…" He whispered. He was barely able to stand.

Sam dropped heavily to his chair, the sounds of Brady trying to coax Bella from the bathroom fading. His sister… the girl he'd picked up, broken in the woods, and then brought back to life with the aide of his pack… his friend… was gone. Tears fell from his eyes as he read her final words: _"The pain just won't stop. I couldn't fight the demons inside anymore. I'm sorry… but.. It's better this way. I love you. You were always a brother. A friend. My alpha."_

"Bella…"

Brady had had enough. One well aimed hit and the deadbolt gave. The bathroom door was shoved open enough that Brady could already smell the pungent aroma of death in the air. He fell to his knees when he saw her. Her body was so frail… barely skin and bones. She'd not done what she promised him she would. She'd not taken care of herself. Her beautiful hair was listless and unkempt. Her eyes, her once soulful eyes were now clouded over, showcasing the pain she'd tried to burry deep inside of herself for all the world to see. Her left wrist was cut deep and a pool of blood lay under her. The very essence of her life had fallen from her body, seeping into the rugs beneath her.

"No….oh Bella…" A strangled sob escaped his lips before he gathered her to him. He gently cradled her body in his arms, fighting back the tears welling in his eyes. "I love you." He whispered resting his forehead against hers.

In the time it took for Brady to open the door and find her lifeless body, the pack had been called. Even Paul- much to Alexia's dismay. They all knew he didn't want her out of his life. He still loved her, though it was muted. None of them were prepared to hear the anguished sobs coming down the hall, nor were they prepared to read the letters. Paul swallowed the bile when he saw there was nothing for him.

He'd destroyed her. It wasn't until Brady nudged his shoulder that he noticed a blood stained note being placed in his hands.

"It's for you… the last thing she wrote.."

The pack stared at him as he read it, jumping when he crumpled to the floor in shock and sorrow. She'd quoted his favorite play. No one else knew he was a lover of Shakespeare. No one but her. A sob escaped his lips as he stared at her gentle scrawl. He didn't want to believe it. She'd been his friend. The only one to see him as something other than a monster. Not even his imprint could claim that. She was terrified of his wolf.

_ Tut man, one fire burns out another's turning._

_ One pain is lessened by another's anguish._

_ Turn giddy, and be helped by backwards turning._

_ One desperate grief cures with another's languish._

_ Take thou some new infection to thy eye._

_ And the rank poison of the old will die._

Charlie was the last to know. The pack took their letters, waited till it was only Brady and Jared, and called him to her apartment. They told him what they'd done to the door, even showed him the card used. Nothing prepared him for the sight of Brady holding Bella in his arms again. Even Charlie didn't have the heart to tell him she was gone- they all knew it.

(~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~)

In death, Bella was given a new lease on life. She was free of the demons haunting her mind. She was free to fly away. But.. Something brought her back.

"Brady…"

She found the wolf by her grave… the one Billy had had placed in the tribal burial grounds. She was a member of the pack- they only thought it was right she be remembered the same way. He'd been there every day since she'd been buried two weeks ago. His brothers were watching him like a hawk now as he tried to heal his broken heart. Bella had been his to love, and now she was gone.

Without her, nothing was right. He'd gone feral after they placed her body in the ground. Nothing his brother's said would bring him back to his human form. He laid beside the girl he'd loved, the one he always swore he'd give his life for. He stared at the gravestone and whined.

He'd see her soon.

(~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~)

Lines of Paul's note are from Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet. Act 1 Scene 2


End file.
